How am I different
I was watching TV when it hit me that I have really quite a changed perspective on life these past few months. Superficially, if you look at my hobbies and interests, they haven’t exactly switched a hundred and eighty degrees, but more accurately, they have expanded.
I still like clothes and shopping, but they are definitely further down my list of priorities (of course, it helps that ive a wardrobe which i delight in). Yeah instead of spending money on clothes, I spend them on groceries and kitchen equipment! I am getting rather obsessed with cooking shows and reading recipes off food blogs. It’s a whole new world of culinary territory!!! And this, for me, is a big change. I never used to care much about what I put down my throat, my rationale was that food is going to get digested and it all turns to shit anyway, so why bother that much? That was why I always tried to get cheap, average-tasting meals to pinch a few pennies here and there. But now, I don’t mind spending a few extra bucks to get decent food, and I do savour and exercise my taste buds more, appreciating every mouthful. :)
Next up is travelling. I practically grew up on a diet of Discovery Travel & Living channel. Watching Asha Gill on Lonely Planet Six Degrees made me realise how my dreams are becoming reality. I guess I developed wanderlust from a young age but in the past, I was always unsure about whether I would actually be able to go to Rome to see the Colosseum, Pantheon etc with my own eyes. Having came back from Europe (which was a magnificent experience), I learnt that I am capable of looking out for and living by myself. To think that there are soooo many more places to explore (Myanmar is next, eeek!!), people to meet, cultures to immerse in… it blows my mind. Same thing with food, I am watching travel shows more intently now, recording down details and tips and storing them for future reference.
Exam results are coming out in two days’ time; I have never felt this ambiguous about what my grades will be. Partly due to my lackadaisical attitude towards studying this past semester, but mostly because of a new way of looking at learning. I used to care so much about grades, but now I truly understand the meaning of going to school to learn new knowledge and skills and not just to acquire good grades and a spiffy certificate. Again, it may have helped that my CAP was enough to allow me to continue with doing honours, though I definitely still need to work hard to maintain it. (And i see, how everything works out perfectly, all through God’s plans:) Anyhow, I don’t worry or stress out about it, I pray and know that it will be.
Interestingly enough, I am more in touch with my emotions and inner thoughts. While I used to think that crying was a sign of weakness, nowadays I cannot help but tear when I watch the lives of real people unfolding on the telly. Maturity is a funny thing. Admittedly, I am more sappy and maybe better at expressing myself, the latter being a commendable thing! I like to watch shows about weddings (Say yes to the dress! aha) and read about people’s weddings on blogs. It is peculiar to me how ‘domesticated’ and feminine ive become. All of a sudden, I am cooking, baking, doing chores, sourcing for wedding inspirations, going ‘awwww’ at sweet innocent little faces; all ready to be a wife and a mother. Except that I have no inkling of an attachment to any man right now. Yeah life is funny that way.
As for my dreams… it’s been a great summer so far, I hope it continues to be productive and I really need to spend the rest of the time praying earnestly and discovering God’s purpose for my life. To imagine that one year from now, I’ll be thrown out from the sheltered world of being a student into the cruel dog-eat-dog world, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. Hmmm travelling is top on my list now, so I’m leaning towards becoming a traveljournalist, missionary or working in the publishing industry. But what do I know, sometimes God has tricks up His sleeve, so I really need to seek His guidance and have a discerning heart and mind.
Abba, Father, thank You so so much for helping me to reflect upon my life these past few years. Never could I have imagined that it would turn out to be so wonderful and so full of bright opportunities. I see how Your plans always prevail, how much love You’ve poured onto me and I am simply grateful and thankful for everything. I want to pray that you continue to guide me, Lord, help me to have a discerning heart and mind, to be a sensible and grounded person who will abide in You, always, and follow Your word and Your teachings. An immediate need is to reveal to me what I should be doing with my life, to be able to eventually fulfill Your purpose for me. And I pray that it will be graciously aligned with my interests and the gifts that You’ve given me. Amen. :)